Do you live with perfectionism? Do you experience black and white thinking?
The trouble is, there’s no such thing as perfect.
I definitely grew up with perfectionistic tendencies.
I would tell myself often that “I can’t” do this or that thing. It resulted in a lot of self-defeating thoughts.
When you’re a perfectionist, you see things in black and white. You’ve either succeeded or failed.
Black and white thinking leaves no room for gray; it’s an all or nothing way of operating.
Changing your thinking:
The first step to overcoming perfectionistic tendencies is to notice them at play.
There is both adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism and it’s important to see which bubbles up for you.
Adaptive means that the tendencies are working for you in positive ways.
An example of adaptive perfectionism is the student that gets the project DONE.
Maladaptive means that the tendencies are negatively impacting your life.
An example of maladaptive perfectionism is the student that gets a B on the projects and feels like they failed.
Self-awareness is paramount to discover how and where these tendencies are playing out in your life. You need that before you can change them.
Once you understand how perfectionism is operating in your daily life, you can start to take steps to make changes.
Jen has learned how to find more gray and not see everything in black and white.
That’s a critical step towards working on your perfectionistic tendencies.
Attaching your sense of self to a number, or to someone else’s opinion, is a terrible way to measure yourself.
How you feel about yourself and your performance is truly what matters.
“We are responsible for the effort; not the outcome.”
With every step that you take, you will see more growth in the area that you’re working on.
Self-growth is incredibly empowering and honestly, for me, it’s addicting.
I love working on myself because I see how that work benefits my self-love and my relationships.
With the work comes greater self-awareness. You get faster and better at catching yourself slipping up in negative behaviors and thought patterns.
What are you working on currently?
Share in the comments below!