We have a natural tendency to compare ourselves to others.
The tendency to compare impedes our ability to see, and therefore take pride from, our own growth.
When I first entered the workforce, I had an especially difficult time with making comparisons. I’d look at my friends, many of which are over-achievers, and think of myself as lazy.
Some days, it seemed like I had a constant nagging voice in my head that told me I wasn’t doing enough; that I could be doing bigger and better.
With time, practice and experience, I have been able to let go of that tendency.
The act of letting go (of making comparisons) has allowed me to revel much more in my own personal growth and accomplishments.
It’s important for us to remind ourselves of our own goals. It’s even more important for us to remind ourselves that others have different sets of goals and priorities.
That simple truth is exactly why it’s so dangerous and detrimental to compare ourselves to others.
When we’re looking at what others are up to in their relationships, careers, etc, we often lose sight of the fact that they have a different barometer for success and happiness.
Even if you have the same needs, values and resources as your peers, setting out to accomplish what they have won’t guarantee your success, pride or happiness.
Instead, focus on yourself.
Rejoice in your efforts, failures and achievements rather than measuring them against what others have done.
Don’t ever let someone’s satisfaction with the path they’re on make you second guess or question the path that you’ve chosen for yourself.
Just simply being myself, and reveling in my growth, has allowed me to celebrate and take tremendous joy from the accomplishments of others.
I no longer have a voice in the back of my head that tells me I’m lazy or lesser for not having accomplished something of equal or greater value because I know that I define value and success differently than those around me, and that’s a beautiful thing.
When all you want is your growth, it’s a lot easier to be present and proud of who and where you are at this point in your life.
It’s so interesting to read that you’ve felt like you weren’t doing enough when you compare yourself to the people around you because I look at you and think that about myself! (Damn, I must REALLY be behind the overachievers you know, haha!) I try to remind myself of this message too. Comparison is the death of joy. I just have to keep thinking it until I really believe it.
You are totally not behind, you are actually completely right! It is the death of joy. While it’s not easy to move away from the tendency to compare, I think that every time we don’t succumb to it is an accomplishment!