Letting go

Throughout the past few years, I’ve come to realize how hard it is to stay in touch with friends. 

I’ve also come to realize that not all friends are worth staying in touch with.

There are so many things that change throughout the course of our lives; our jobs, the places we call home, our priorities, our relationships, even our values…These changes usually impact our ability (and desire) to stay in touch with the people we care about.

As someone who deeply values and puts a great deal of time, love and effort into my relationships, I have struggled to understand those who don’t do the same. 

I used to take it personally, and let it really bum me out, when friends would cancel plans at the last minute, fail to respond to my efforts to catch up, or act in ways which I view to be disloyal.

It has taken me a few years to realize, and accept, that not all of my friends place the same emphasis (or value) on the relationships I have with them that I do. It has also taken me a few years to realize that not all of my friends have the same principles, morals and values that I do.

I have also come to realize who my true friends are.

The individuals who I consider to be my best friends are those who, time and time again, take time out of their busy schedules to see me during my visits home. They are the ones with whom I can express my feelings openly and honestly, and no apologies or explanations are necessary. Things are just easy.

I have no doubt that the individuals who I refer to as my best friends will change throughout the course of my lifetime.

However, the one thing that won’t change is the lesson I’ve learned along the way; life is too short to invest time or effort into relationships that don’t provide you with something positive. 

When it comes to friendships, sometimes you need to know when to stop trying and start letting go.


  • cheerdummy says:

    Great post, Julia. I think the timing of the situation is particularly interesting — you went home to Long Island and it seems as though it humbled you in a way and gave you new perspective on what (or who) to put your focus on in Buffalo. Glad to see you’re keeping your spirits up! 🙂

  • juliajs530 says:

    Katie – I couldn’t have said it better myself… my trip home (and experiences over the weekend) resulted in my re-evaluating some things. I walked (well, flew) away with a greater appreciation for the positive influences in my life as well as a new-found strength to focus my efforts on the people, things, and experiences which provide me with what i’m looking for at this stage in life.

  • Genia says:

    I believe some friends are in your life for a season. They are important to a very specific time in your life and then like autumn leaves that fall to the ground. They are always a part of your life in memory but your are right to realize it is time to let go. Sometimes you have to move on because so much is waiting for you in your present moment.
    It has been a joy to follow your blog. Keep writing!

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